I am going to try to blog more, for one bloging makes your more accountable. you have something you have to do. my husband and I are thinking of starting a blog based on our everyday lives. what its like living with a chronic illness, and our own views on whats going on. If anyone is interested I can link it here as well. We haven't started filming yet but I think it will help. I am going to start nannying for a wonderful family. I just hope I can handle it.
I went back to the cardiologist last week, I had CAVC heart defect when I was born and had it repaired at 10 months. I haven't had any problems, with it since, but at this last appointment they said i had 2 weak valves and some back flow. they aren't concerned yet, but said it will cause problems down the road. which kind of worries me. I have been putting off actually having a surgical correction for my first surgery for two years because I have to work to support my family right now, I am worried about what happens if I can't work anymore. when will that be? will it be my choice? I just wish I had more control over the situation.
Its not that I don't want to have my surgery. well I mean I don't want to have it, but I know I will need to have it so in theory I "want" it. But i feel like i can't have it. I feel like if i have it I'm going to be a burden to everyone else. I feel like everyone else will have to support me, which is hard for me since Ive always been the one to make sure the bills get paid and dinner is made, that the laundry is done. it is hard for me to give up that kind of control, I feel like it is the only thing I can control.
well Im too dizzy to write anymore right now. but like i said i want to try to blog at least 3-5 times a week.