It’s hard to explain but I don’t feel like my “normal” normal self. It will be 8 weeks on Tuesday and Dr Tew said on the 6th I should be ready to go back to work. I said I don’t feel like I am and so did my mom. I told him my days are 10-12 hours every day with my commute and kids appointments and physically I wouldn’t last.
He of course lectured me because he said I should’ve been exercising every morning doing 30 minutes if cardio with my heart rate at 140. No one told me that, he said my range of motion is great but that I shouldn’t have an issue still being stiff and finding it hard to get out of bed. I told him I don’t lay around all day and have been getting out and taking care of my kids but I don’t think I can do the 150 miles I drive a week plus work 8-9 hours on top of therapy and tutoring for the boys yet. He is so rude he made my mom cry! He asked her for her opinion and then interrupted her and said “are you don’t lecturing so I can talk now” and all my mom said was the something I said.
He says my short term memory loss is my own fault for not doing crosswords or doing anything to “work my brain”
I told him in the 7 weeks I’ve been off work I have only needed two naps other them that I’ve been up, taking my kids to school, running errands but after a few hours I am just wiped… Again my fault. He actually got up and left the room without saying anything and we sat there for 10 minutes before the schedule person came in and said we were done?!? I said well he didn’t say when to go back to work or even when i come back here. She says no follow up here for 1 year and to just tell her when I want to go back. Knowing my FMLA is up June 13th I said May 28th. So I have two weeks to find my energy and motivation to last all day and hope the short term memory loss improves.
I’ve had so many break downs in tears over the memory thing… Anything from forgetting a light switch to forgetting which exit to take driving to my shower routine and putting brushing my teeth. There is not a time of day it is worse or better it just comes and goes whenever. But for some one with OCD and anxiety it is depressing.
I don’t think in the last 3 weeks there has been one day I haven’t cried and said I wish I didn’t have this done. I don’t feel like me. I haven’t cooked or cleaned or done any of the things I wanted to do because I have no energy and by the time i do it’s Time to get my kids.
But I will say I helped my husband paint 3 bedrooms 3 or 4 weeks ago with no problem just stiff and sore after but I would have been even without having surgery lol
I do get out of the house, I see my Pcp every two weeks now so she can see how I am doing and agrees I am depressed but not depressed in a way for anti depressants to help, and hoping that once I get in my work routine (I do love my job) that maybe I will feel better.
I am still on pain medications but I also have other things going on so it isn’t “just” the chiari and surgery that I am dealing with.
But I miss me lol I miss getting up in the morning to get stuff done and figure out dinner and run errands. I miss Sunday cleaning day which thankfully my husband does.
I am sleeping better 5-6 hours before waking up but it takes me a good two hours to really get going… And there was one day I had an appointment and needed to shower at 6am and I struggled big time and then backed my car into the lawn mower!
I just don’t feel like me any more. I am scared to go back to work (IT work) and not being able to do my job. Yes I have good bosses that are understanding and will hopefully work with me on the schedule and maybe work some from home. But we haven’t discussed it all yet.
Will I just eventually find a new “normal” any suggestions on help with the lack of energy in the morning and throughout the day? I don’t drink coffee or anything like that. My headaches have been minimal and neck pain depends on the day which I have used the arnica gel. But my PCp is still amazed at how “tense” they are with several muscle knots around my neck and shoulders.
So I will be 10 weeks when I go back to work. Should I look intoassahw therapy? My insurance will cover it IF I go to chiro first and they suggest it.
But that also requires time which I will have more time when school is out in a few weeks.
Anyone else still on pain meds too? I was on them before surgery too. She is weaning me off the oxy and I am sure she will just put me back on the Lortab when I go back to work. And I take flexoril and Xanax at night which again I was on before surgery.
I really just want my energy back! I never expected to be off work for 10 weeks stupid I know, I just always bounce back from everything that I expected 4-6 weeks and i would be good to go HA freaking HA!
Any suggestions are welcome, I will try anything at this point, I feel