Yesterday I had a bit of a meltdown and couldnt stop crying.
It all started because someone said something to me that shouldnt have upset me but did.
Im a nurse and was working in theatre helping the surgeons.
The surgeon (known to be a bit of a nasty pig) told me to tilt the trolley (that the patient was on) so that the foot end was higher than the head end.
To do this I have to stand at the head end, pull up a leaver, and take the weight of the patient and push that weight down before releasing the leaver.
I cant do this in the normal fashion as if i did I would get a headache.
So I tried doing it a different way, which worked but looked rather awkward!
The Surgeon said 'What do you think your doing? you dont do it like that, you do it with both hands' etc...
he went on to tell me how to do it the correct way, whivh of course i already know.
I told him, that I knew how to do it but im unable to it that way.
I didnt say why.
He gave me a look which basically said he thought i was an idiot.
I said nothing and kept my composeur, but the first chance i got to go out of theatre i did and fell apart. Because i was embarrashed.
I felt like a freak and its so frustrating. The bending down thing is also a problem for me, but if i dont do it, because it brings on a headache, people think im being lazy, even those at work who know about my condition.
Sometimes im just sick of it, and i know you will hopefully understand.
I think im ultra sensitive because ive got a date for my surgery-14th march!
im a bit emotional atm!!