Chiari Online Support Group

How to manage stress?

I feel like I’m always writing a sad story in here.
I guess maybe I feel like you guys know I’m truly looking for advice. And really don’t want/need pity.
Life has gotten hard! I’m moving at the end of this month. Not far from where I am now. My landlord now is a smuck- it’s a long story. Was raised in a close family that I have more recently had a falling out more or less with. My mothers “boyfriend” of about 10 years who has always hated her children decided he was my sons grandfather since my sons father can’t be around bc he was in the war and has sever trauma and can no longer take care of himself. When I tried to KINDLY let him know he was over stepping (he never had children and has made many comments about how he is Collins father figure. I didn’t have a child with this man and I don’t agree with his world views) he went off on me calling me horrible things. Among them a failure and a burden- all while my son stood right next to him. I refuse to prevent things are ok. I refuse to be near such a horrible person. He has a bug career in our community which is why we had to pretend to be a family for 10 years anyways. I’m done. It’s caused uncomfortableness in my family. Everything is always my fault now. The stress of the family stuff is overwhelming. That’s my only support. As we know chiari ruins friendships. I go to counseling every week- just to remind myself that ITS OK TO HAVE BOUNDARIES!!! For the love! I’m 30! Why do I feel I need permission. Because I was raised and programmed this way.
Some days I just wish I had another me to help split the load. It’s wearing me down at an epic pace. I can’t do simple things some days. And when I think about all of that I think “maybe he is right about me being a burden and a failure”

A. Do not let this jerk make you feel bad. Who sees your son is nobody’s business but yours!!! He does not sound trustworthy!
B. Your priorities are You and your son. Other people who bring you down are not worth your time. You need to focus on coping with having Chiari and not dealing with the drama!!
C. Never let anyone call you names for your choices!! Walk away.
D. You do not need anyone else’s permission to do what you want for you and your son!!

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent!” -Eleanor Roosevelt

Thank you Lindy. Some of these things are just regular human issues but it feels like I’m not being heard or understood. Maybe you have to have it or want to understand it to get it.
When I can slow my brain down enough to actually analyze I come back to exactly what you said- my goal since the moment my son was born has always been just what’s best for him.
And I’d really like to thank you for being the only one out of 29 views to reply to me. I think we are all here to know we are not alone. I’m not going to bash others just thank you for being a kind enough individual to reach out and say some kind words.

You are welcome!! Please take it easy on yourself!! Save up your energy for you and your son and relax as much as possible!! Do something fun together- carve a pumpkin or decorate the house for autumn!!:jack_o_lantern:

Hi Cassie,
Sounds like you’ve already received some very good advice, but just wanted to add a few more encouraging words. You’re right, I think in order to truly understand CM1 you have to experience it. I’m happy to hear you’re able to move away from some of the source of stress. Do you have any other outlets, supports like church family? For me it helps yo have

Hi new2chiari1. As we all know chronic disease pretty much bombs all aspects of life. So where 10 years ago I was friends with almost everyone in this county I am now unable to go out and do the things I used to. Heck, I’m lucky if I can’t get to the store on a good day. I have just 2 friends left that actually care and one is in a very competitive school to become a physician assistant so she’s lucky if she has time for her husband. My other friend try’s but she is caring for her dying mother, which makes my complaints seem so minor. My brain may be falling out of my head but I’m not about to bury another parent like she is. I’ve wanted to get into a church. I was not raised in a church so I feel weird about it… I’ve had many friends invite me and my son to come along. Maybe it’s just the meeting so many new people which has started giving me anxiety. ?I know I should, But how do you pick the right place?!

Listen you need to vent and I hope that with you coming to this site is helping you. I’m in the middle of packing and need to move 150 miles away and (because i just recently decided to do surgery) I need to travel back the 150 miles to do my Chiairi surgery. You need to have faith in yourself that you’re stronger than these other people who trying to get you down. It’s hard but we all have faith in you that you can overcome this. Just remember,what doesn’t break you will only make you stronger.