I can't give you any advice on the surgery or recover its self. I'm on the site because my daughter was diagnosed. But I have been recently been through a very difficult pregnancy with a long recovery and had to deal with not being able to take care of my family (or myself for that matter..haha). It seems the recover has some similarities.
You'll probably get plenty of medical advice from doctors and nurses. I think the practical advice is just as important. Be realistic about what you can and can't do. It's hard for us super moms to not be able to take care of everyone else in our family but if you don't take care of yourself first you can't take care of anyone else. Please take all the Chiari patient's advice and take it easy. It seems the payback for overdoing it is always worse.
Since you get to plan your surgery ahead of time, assume that you will be unable to do more than you thought. I remember when I had to be happy when my only accomplishment for the day was starting a load of laundry. (how pathetic--but I did something :) ). Stock your freezer with prepared meals. Make a list of items that friends and family can help with would also be helpful. And don't forget little things that they could help you with, even something simple that you COULD do but if they could do the task for you then maybe you could spend more time cuddling with your kids, because you'll probably feel like they are getting neglected while you are recovering. Friends and family want to help but they often just don't know how or what would benefit you. So if they say, "if there is anything I can do..." take them up on it Maybe it is just companionship, maybe they could fold a load of laundry while talking to you or unload your dishwasher, or pick up the toys in the living room (not a hard tasks....unless you can't bend over.:)... but they will feel helpful..) I was feeling so awful and out of it that I often couldn't even come up with a list for them. It was just more stress to formula the list so I avoided it. So if you cold think of things before you're "wacked out" on paid meds that might be helpful. Also consider items that might help your husband. He will probably be taking over some of your mom responsibilities so maybe some help for him. (we live on a farm so our family could do chores for him so he could do more household things). Maybe some friends can take the kids for a play dates. Even a hour here and there is helpful. Is there some young kids around that could come and play with the little ones. Maybe someone too young to be a babysit on their own but with you there they could at least distract the toddler while say you made supper or attended to something else (cause everything will take you longer to do than you plan...oh wait your a mom you already know this rule. hah
Set your standards low. You're house will not function the same while you are recovering. It doesn't have to be perfect or up to your pre-surgery standards. Are your kids health, and I'm going to say, relatively happy? Is it that big of a deal the floor hasn't been swept in two weeks. It takes a little mental readjustment.
You might feel like you are neglecting your children. I mean not so much as physical needs but just attention in general. I remember just missing my daughter. Yes she was in the same house but I spend all of my time sleeping or in a quiet room, if she could hang out with me it was for short periods because she was to rambunctious and her bouncing in the chair would make sicker. I missed some of her activities. She would say when are you not going to be sick so you can play with me. It just made me sad. So my advice is that even though the recovery might feel like the longest thing in your life (2 years for me) it is a relatively short period in their life and they bounce back easily. Kids are resilient and they will not be scarred for life :). You might just adjust what "quality time" together means. Our big event for the week was going to the grocery store, what a highlight huh? We live in a small town so the store isn't very large and it didn't take long and we would make a pit stop at a little park. I mostly rode along and sat and watched but it was our family time for the week....yeah to the grocery store. We didn't plan anything else so if I felt terrible we could cut it short. My daughter was 4 and looked forward the weekly "chore".
Lastly go back and read this well after the surgery, because right now with might just seem silly. Keep faith that you'll get though and roll along with the bad days. Don't hesitate to seek some help for the psychological aspect of dealing with a chronic condition or long recovery. I can't say all of the above is all my own ideas. I had a counselor that was very helpful. I didn't see her often, and at the time had a hard time justifying spending the hours with her instead of my family since I had limited time in the day to "function" but it was worth it. I'm new to this support group but it looks like it a great place to be.
I said lastly but one more, try to surround yourself with the "positive" people in your life. You know the ones that always make you feel better. Avoid those that stress you out. (one of mine was my mother...very hard for me to be ok with the fact that she isn't or won't be my go to person just because she is my mom) You'll have a good excuse to avoid them...... "I'm not feeling well".
Good luck to you and your family with your surgery!!