So I am not the kind to let much keep me down for long but recently I realize how much my CM holds me back. For example tonight I was having a good time laughing and playing cards with my son. I had to stop because the heavy laughing and coughing that came from the heavy laughing made my head hurt to bad to keep doing it. I can’t even laugh without severe pain! No wonder I’m depressed! Just needed to vent a minute!

I get that it makes me crazy the tingling pain I get in my arms, my daughter loves to snuggle on the couch and wrap her arms around mine but when I have a bad pain day I can't stand the touch its literally painful. I hate not being able to be the mommy I once was because of the CM. She has actually said to me she hopes the doctors fix me and make me all better so she can have her snuggly mommy back. Breaks my heart when I can't snuggle her because I see how her heart hurts. Bending over to play baseball in the yard last weekend made me hurt so bad I wanted to cry and the bending to pick up the ball each time was like knives in my head. I get it completely and have actually started taking my antidepressants again since this all started effecting my life so bad and I hadn't taken any of them in years. It is definitely depressing some days. I just want my life back without all the restrictions or pain