I can't even start this post. Don't know what to write. Just want to cry.
The past 3-4 months I feel like being a viewer of my own life. As if there is asolutely nothing I can do. Just watch, no participating. Like a leaf in a stream- being taken somewhere, not even having the option to grab by something to pull myself out of the water.
Taking a shower + going to the store(2 min walk from my home) + taking my little stister home from school(less than 10 min walk from home) + preparing easy and quick dinner = like climbing a mauntain. I know I can do it, but it's so hard! It takses so much energy! I feel so tired as it is, haven't yet done anything, except for having breakfast.
I'm only 25 and the thought of staying like this or even getting worse is frightening.
I have gone to doctors in these months, I'm improving the quality of my sleep. That is good, but it's not improving my mental or physical capabilities. I've been seeing a psychiatrist, was on antidepressants, but my doctor didn't see the antidepressants improving anything, so she said, my symptoms probably are mostly Chiari. I also was taking nootropics, but they made me worse. I felt more energy, but it was like my body couldn't take it- I started having panick attacks or something, and my doctor thought I shouldn't take them anymore. I'll see a neurologist sometime next year, when I get insurance.
While I was taking the antidepressant, I had a hope some symptoms would be due to a depression, and they would cure me. But now I'm left only with the Chiari that has no real treatments. I'm sceptical about surgery, because I haven't heard the surgery being done because of lack of energy, and not bein able to concentrate. I have other symptoms, but they are not that bad, I think.
I feel like my mind is getting weaker and weaker. This is terrible. I still hope I have something that can be treated.
Thanks for reading!