Angry

Yeah.... angry. MAD. Why did this happen to me? How did this happen to me? How did I walk thru 35 years not knowing, and have it just rear it's ugly head and take me down in an instant? What do I do now? What if I can't go back to work? Men take care of the house, they provide. What the hell kind of man am I now? Why did my vision get screwed up in a day.... and it isn't any better now post-op? Why is my wife sticking around, HOW is she sticking around?

I'm dealing fine I guess, on the outside, for now. I just don't know where to go from here.... who am I anymore?

Chiari takes innocent people who are just living their lives and seems to suddenly change them forever. I'll never understand why my life was disrupted so suddenly as well, Chris. It does make you angry. It may be of little comfort to you now, but after a while, I found some (not all), of the anger did fade, and life has gotten better. It changes you, that's for sure. Your wife loves you, which is such a wonderful thing. For better or for worse, and in sickness and in health is what a marriage is all about. You are still so worthy of being loved. Even more so now, because having Chiari makes you a stronger and more compassionate person. It is overwhelming and unfair. Take each day moment by moment, and you will get through this. Let yourself heal. Both emotionally and physically. Your friend, Victoria.

Dear Chris.....

You are amazing!! You, are what I consider a real man!!! You just posted feelings from your heart...Your wife is by your side because you are a real man...a good man...you have a medical condition...would you bail on her if she was ill???? I doubt you would.

Ok ..now that I said my peace!!! I have a couple of questions...When was surgery?? I ask because I had mine done 8/08 and it took many mths for me to see/feel real progress...

In the 1st yr of recovery ...my NS told me....that I may experience symptoms I didn't even have before!! But...they would be temporary.....The way my NS explained went something like this..."Your CSF was not flowing correctly for your entire adult life....possibly ..your ENTIRE life....so it will take time for your brain and body to adjust to the new CSF flow...it takes time for the body to re-calibrate to the new flow."

When I thought of that it makes complete sense. Though...it did not make the symptoms that came and went any easier to handle.

I bet you are also MAD..as I was and still am....that once the incision is healed....we are pretty much on our own..that has been my experience anyway...NL's that I have seen in the past we flat out clueless and USELESS!!!! Primary doctors ..if you are lucky enough to have one that actually will take the time with you and are willing to learn about Chiari..can be of help in sending you to the right person...

As I mentioned ...08 I had my operation..still have some lingering sx's....vision being one of them..so I can feel for you in that area..my balancce is shaky to say the least...many falls this past yr..which sent me to a new doctor..

He is a PHYSIATRIST......sounds like a shrink at 1st glance !!LOL...But this type of doctor works with folks like us ...as well as stroke patients, pain management...motor vehicle accident patients that have deficits.....just a thought....maybe you may want to check this type of doctor out....

Hang in there and don't give up hope, ok?? We are here for you....you are not alone, Chris.

Peace,

Lori

Chris,

I know exactly how you feel. A couple of days ago I wrestled with some of the exact questions you are right now. I have been wrestling with these questions for a while and still am. You are a man just as I am a man. It is hard but take this point of view (which I am also learning how to take), and as I said it is hard to accept as we are told from very young a man takes care and provides for his family.

No one knows why it happened and it is a life changer. You as a man have to take the view that IT IS OK not to be in control and be the provider. We have to care for ourselves first before we can take care/provide for others. When we do not it only hurts us more. Read some pf my previous post. I will get back to with more. This is something I want and will help you with no matter what it takes because while I help you I will help myself

Mike

I feel angry to. My NS when he told me about this said that I had it my entire life probably and i should never have been allowed to join the Navy. That was always my dream to do and now I look at the pictures of me up on my birds and on the ocean and I cry saying that should never have happened? It doesnt make sense at all. It isn't fair

Chris,

I am back and I want to help you deal with this as much as I can. I think you can and will understand my point of view. We, both of us, are struggling with the same issues. You are asking what, why, how? I was acting in ways that did not help my situation. I am going to go through this with you like I helped my students when they were learning about something new. Before I do this, I want to give you some background on myself. Some of it is quite obvious from my profile and other things from what I have posted on other discussions prior.

First off I am 40 years old (not much older than you) married with 2 daughters ages 8 and 3, one more is on the way. I spent eight years in the Maine Corps prior to marriage, college and kids. From 2001 - 2008 I was a state certified school teacher [juvenile delinquents] (most of it was teaching anywhere from minor offenses such as shop lifting up to and including arson and murder). Naturally I got stressed out and looked to the public school system to no avail for a job. So from May 2008 to May 2010 I was working as a customer service rep at Verizon Wireless and started going back to college for my masters degree in IT (database management with web design) and working to obtain A+ certification. In 2009, I get into a one vehicle car wreck; I hit an icy patch on the road and dropped down a 15 foot embankment. Diagnosed with bad back (whatever the proper medical term is) and undiagnosed whiplash. I was able to return to work but was having problems vision, constant pain, numbness, etc. However I felt productive again and I was working to provide for my family, yea me right? That is what I thought until May 2010 getting ready for work I collapsed and blacked out woke up very difficult to breathe and crippling chest pain. Go to ER, do stress test, finish with a cardiac cath. After this and telling my old PCP and old cardiologist about the symptoms I was having. I was scanned, x-rayed, poked and probed they came up with POTS. During this time I was about to all specialists; gastroenterologist, pulmonologist, cardiologist, neurologist, chiropractors. All I didn't see a proctologist or oncologist. I was told by my cardiologist that my numbness, shortness of breath, blackout etc, I would have to learn with because he had to learn to live with migraines. Talk about a stretch in comparison. Anyhow got new PCP and cardiologist and I had a weird blackout spell (or as some here have told me a white out spell). Well I went down an all I was able to do was hear. I could not see, talk, move, nothing. I told my PCP he referred me back to the NL who ordered another brain MRI. This MRI finally in Nov 2011 showed the CM greater than 5mm that may be of clinical significance (is how the report read). PCP says CM and tells me about it. We, wife and I, do our own research as well. We made appointments to see 2 NS one at John Hopkins and one at UPMC. Both are leaders in CM. Both tell me that CM is not my problem because it is too small but they cannot explain my symptoms except to say I have neck stenosis. NS at Hopkins orders a cine MRI to check flow of CSF. Blocked in the posterior diminished elsewhere, been trying for about two weeks to have his office tell me how to proceed since this NS told me that I would not have any blockage and he would be very surprised if I did. Well surprise I have blockage and tell me what to do. Every time while I still wait to keep myself sane I keep thinking of the line "Bueller,...... Bueller,...... Bueller....... So that is where I am at right now and trying to convince the NS that the CM is a major problem for me.

Now for me to try and help you to stay sane and keep yourself together. Let’s look at what you wrote and I will try to answer it as best as I can.

Yeah.... angry. MAD. This is normal, I am glad you are getting it out and venting it. Why did this happen to me? How did this happen to me? How did I walk thru 35 years not knowing, and have it just rear it's ugly head and take me down in an instant? This I cannot answer except tell you what has been told to me. You were more than likely born with it and look back with your wife to see if something happened. I believe it was Abby who posted some links showing that minor traumas could have been the trigger, like mine was the undiagnosed case of whip lash that the NS @ Hopkins told me that I had. What do I do now? This one is entirely up to YOU, but you must recover first. You may be able to go back to doing what you were doing maybe not. I was told try but do not give up on yourself. Easier said than done. What if I can't go back to work? Men take care of the house, they provide. What the hell kind of man am I now? If you cannot return to your old job what else is there that you like to do but never had the time. There are programs out there that will help you. I know that with SSDI you can still work up to a certain degree, not sure what it is. If not again what else can you do, right now I cannot work so I am trying to help myself here with this group while I try to help others. I am starting a local support group to help others. Are these paid position that I can support my family on, NO, but a man must provide more than financial support to the family. Yes I know it is ingrained into us as boys that success and happiness are how we provide and take care of our family. I think the more important question is how is your family reacting right now? I know your wife is very concerned, she is worried and scared but she wants to support and help you in any way she can. It DOES NOT make you less of a man to need help or TO ASK FOR help. Contrary to the belief, it is MORE MANLY to ASK for help and to RECEIVE the help. Why did my vision get screwed up in a day.... and it isn't any better now post-op? Chiari effects all of us differently physically as well as emotionally and mentally. Coming here is a great place to start. The people here are dealing with it prior to surgery, like me or post surgery like you, to the full gamut in between. All of here though have made a commitment to help each other and help ourselves. That is where it all begins. Why is my wife sticking around, HOW is she sticking around? To me this is an easy one because I ask my wife almost every day. She tells me plain and simple “because I love you and 10 years ago I promised before God, my family and you r family and all of our friends o be there in sickness and health, richer or poorer. This is a time where I can help you because you have helped me, sometimes without even knowing it.” That is what she tells me. I’ll bet if your ask your wife she will give you a similar answer, even if she is overwhelmed, frustrated, mad, and angry as you are now.

Sorry it is rather long, but I would rather be long than see someone go down that road I was on. If you need to and don’t want to post it here call me. 724-■■■■■■■■ I will talk to you or you can yell and scream at me until you feel better. I as well as many others, we want to help.

Mike

Hi Chris,

I am so sorry for what you are dealing with. My CM surgery was dropped into my lap or I would become a quadripledgic. I think I felt like all of the decisions that should have been made by me was taken away. My Life was taken away. I have talked to your wife many times and you are a very lucky man. She adores you. She will always be there for you. I know you are Mad as Hell and scared about your future. We have all been there. do you have Long Term Disability Insurance through your employer. You may not need it. I am an insurance person, so I think of your financial situation & ideas to help. I agree with Lori, it takes time to heal. It takes 18 months just for your bones to fuse back together & longer for the connective tissue. Please don't be so hard on yourself. Most dr's don't know everything we have learned by necessity. You can always come here and vent! Yell, Scream ! We will always be here for you. You are not alone. You have come to a special place where everyone understands & cares.

Praying for you and your wife,

Tracy Z.

Hey every 1, Chris here thank u 4 all yr responces. i am a bit slow with the computer so its going 2 take a while 4 me 2 respond 2 all of u, wife and i r going 2 dinner at the in-laws now. just wanted 2 say thanks and will start replying later 2night or 2marrow

Great...Have a wonderful Night !!!!

Hi Chris...

Good...glad to hear you are getting out of the house...that if your in-laws are nice..Ha, ha!!!

By the way...you are doing pretty darn good at this computer thing!!!!

Make sure you keep us posted on ow you are doing!!OK?????

Peace,

Lori

mike
First of all let me just say thank u 4 all yr input, every thing u have said makes sence, now i just have 2 except it, & that is my problem. i thought after the surgery i would start seeing sum improvements, i know they wouldnt happen all @ once or even over night, but i was expecting sum improvement by now. instead i find myself telling people i feel worse than b4 the surgery. and 2me that just sounds so stupid but true. not only do i still have all the same symptoms, but now i can barely move my neck, my left arm feels much heavier, & i can not stand 4 much of any thing 2 touch the back of my head. then theres the emoitional side. every 1 says just think positive, & were iam doing my best it seems 2 get harder every day i dont see any improvement. then the wife finally gets me on the computer & i start reading about every 1 else, were i dont feel alone on 1 hand, but on the other i feel bad. for those of u who have had these symptoms for years, and countless speacalist / doctors... i have had swallowing issues for over a yr now, and problems with my voice for about 6 months, my eye gone retarded and the left side of my body achy for a few months. iam having a hard enough time dealing with my issues 4 the short time that it actually has been.

as far as being a man, you are absolutely right. a real man will ask for help when needed, no body is perfect or knows every thing. if i am @ work, working on my house or out in the garage building sum thing i have no problem asking for help if i am lost or confused. my biggest problem is talking about my feelings, dont like it typically never do it. i have a hard enough time talking to my wife much less any body else. i mean it took me all day 2 write my 1st comment. as my wife has mentioned many times it would probably help if i talk to others that have gone through it or are still going though it 2 help either myself and /or sum 1 else.
Michael Salasky said:

Chris,

I am back and I want to help you deal with this as much as I can. I think you can and will understand my point of view. We, both of us, are struggling with the same issues. You are asking what, why, how? I was acting in ways that did not help my situation. I am going to go through this with you like I helped my students when they were learning about something new. Before I do this, I want to give you some background on myself. Some of it is quite obvious from my profile and other things from what I have posted on other discussions prior.

First off I am 40 years old (not much older than you) married with 2 daughters ages 8 and 3, one more is on the way. I spent eight years in the Maine Corps prior to marriage, college and kids. From 2001 - 2008 I was a state certified school teacher [juvenile delinquents] (most of it was teaching anywhere from minor offenses such as shop lifting up to and including arson and murder). Naturally I got stressed out and looked to the public school system to no avail for a job. So from May 2008 to May 2010 I was working as a customer service rep at Verizon Wireless and started going back to college for my masters degree in IT (database management with web design) and working to obtain A+ certification. In 2009, I get into a one vehicle car wreck; I hit an icy patch on the road and dropped down a 15 foot embankment. Diagnosed with bad back (whatever the proper medical term is) and undiagnosed whiplash. I was able to return to work but was having problems vision, constant pain, numbness, etc. However I felt productive again and I was working to provide for my family, yea me right? That is what I thought until May 2010 getting ready for work I collapsed and blacked out woke up very difficult to breathe and crippling chest pain. Go to ER, do stress test, finish with a cardiac cath. After this and telling my old PCP and old cardiologist about the symptoms I was having. I was scanned, x-rayed, poked and probed they came up with POTS. During this time I was about to all specialists; gastroenterologist, pulmonologist, cardiologist, neurologist, chiropractors. All I didn't see a proctologist or oncologist. I was told by my cardiologist that my numbness, shortness of breath, blackout etc, I would have to learn with because he had to learn to live with migraines. Talk about a stretch in comparison. Anyhow got new PCP and cardiologist and I had a weird blackout spell (or as some here have told me a white out spell). Well I went down an all I was able to do was hear. I could not see, talk, move, nothing. I told my PCP he referred me back to the NL who ordered another brain MRI. This MRI finally in Nov 2011 showed the CM greater than 5mm that may be of clinical significance (is how the report read). PCP says CM and tells me about it. We, wife and I, do our own research as well. We made appointments to see 2 NS one at John Hopkins and one at UPMC. Both are leaders in CM. Both tell me that CM is not my problem because it is too small but they cannot explain my symptoms except to say I have neck stenosis. NS at Hopkins orders a cine MRI to check flow of CSF. Blocked in the posterior diminished elsewhere, been trying for about two weeks to have his office tell me how to proceed since this NS told me that I would not have any blockage and he would be very surprised if I did. Well surprise I have blockage and tell me what to do. Every time while I still wait to keep myself sane I keep thinking of the line "Bueller,...... Bueller,...... Bueller....... So that is where I am at right now and trying to convince the NS that the CM is a major problem for me.

Now for me to try and help you to stay sane and keep yourself together. Let’s look at what you wrote and I will try to answer it as best as I can.

Yeah.... angry. MAD. This is normal, I am glad you are getting it out and venting it. Why did this happen to me? How did this happen to me? How did I walk thru 35 years not knowing, and have it just rear it's ugly head and take me down in an instant? This I cannot answer except tell you what has been told to me. You were more than likely born with it and look back with your wife to see if something happened. I believe it was Abby who posted some links showing that minor traumas could have been the trigger, like mine was the undiagnosed case of whip lash that the NS @ Hopkins told me that I had. What do I do now? This one is entirely up to YOU, but you must recover first. You may be able to go back to doing what you were doing maybe not. I was told try but do not give up on yourself. Easier said than done. What if I can't go back to work? Men take care of the house, they provide. What the hell kind of man am I now? If you cannot return to your old job what else is there that you like to do but never had the time. There are programs out there that will help you. I know that with SSDI you can still work up to a certain degree, not sure what it is. If not again what else can you do, right now I cannot work so I am trying to help myself here with this group while I try to help others. I am starting a local support group to help others. Are these paid position that I can support my family on, NO, but a man must provide more than financial support to the family. Yes I know it is ingrained into us as boys that success and happiness are how we provide and take care of our family. I think the more important question is how is your family reacting right now? I know your wife is very concerned, she is worried and scared but she wants to support and help you in any way she can. It DOES NOT make you less of a man to need help or TO ASK FOR help. Contrary to the belief, it is MORE MANLY to ASK for help and to RECEIVE the help. Why did my vision get screwed up in a day.... and it isn't any better now post-op? Chiari effects all of us differently physically as well as emotionally and mentally. Coming here is a great place to start. The people here are dealing with it prior to surgery, like me or post surgery like you, to the full gamut in between. All of here though have made a commitment to help each other and help ourselves. That is where it all begins. Why is my wife sticking around, HOW is she sticking around? To me this is an easy one because I ask my wife almost every day. She tells me plain and simple “because I love you and 10 years ago I promised before God, my family and you r family and all of our friends o be there in sickness and health, richer or poorer. This is a time where I can help you because you have helped me, sometimes without even knowing it.” That is what she tells me. I’ll bet if your ask your wife she will give you a similar answer, even if she is overwhelmed, frustrated, mad, and angry as you are now.

Sorry it is rather long, but I would rather be long than see someone go down that road I was on. If you need to and don’t want to post it here call me. 724-■■■■■■■■ I will talk to you or you can yell and scream at me until you feel better. I as well as many others, we want to help.

Mike

Hey....

Totally get ya......My mom adored my hubby, Michael.....they could talk for hours and Michael busted her beans and she gave it right back..it was great.

My in laws are tops....all these yrs of marrage and they have never ticked me off!!!!!! LOL

Hey Chris...I am begining to think that you were full of it when you 1st joined here...saying you weren't a computer guy...seems to me that you may end up having a career in the IT field!!!! Or is your wife doing all the typing for you???

ha, ha!! Chris...I am off to church soon...you all will and are in my prayers.....things will get better...don't EVER give up hope..I use to be prone to throwing in the towel way too soon..still have those days now....just know that we are all here for you and your wife.....what the heck is her 1st name.i hate calling her 'your wife'....you don't have too , of course...you can even give a false 1st name ..like Sunshine, Patty, Edna!!!

Peace,

Lori

lori

hey lori how are u? ok here just another day. my surgery was Jan. 17th and released from the hospital on the 22nd. her name is Carrie and she is wonderful. if it wasnt 4 her i dont know were i would be. the last time we saw the NS i got that feeling as well, as far as he was consernd his job was over and all was well. nice guy but very short, strait 2 business and out the door. wasnt looken 4 a buddy but kind of like 2 get a feel for the person, carrie liked him and i trust her with my life so, i guess thats all that matters. we dont have a family doctor, i dont like doctors and would only c 1 if i had no other choice. now that i have this STUPID ASS CM we will probably have 2 find 1 to stay up on every thing.

every 1 says it will take time 2 heal i get it. problem with that tho is i am Not a patient man, especially when i am stuck in the house not able 2 work, unable 2 go in the garage and play with my tools, hell i dont even feel like playing my ps3. its seems thsese days all i have energy for is sum tv, nap, maybe go on the computer for a while, and of coarse stress out on all the what ifs. very unproductive.

Lol no really i am not good on the computer, takes me 4 ever 2 type, and god 4 bid sum thing freeze pop up or what ever else, then i have 2 find carrie and have her fix it, and yes she has done some typing. this is her baby and she doesnt like for me 2b on it. i am trying 2 do most of the responces, but she has made some just trying to help me stay cought up. my in-laws are great, pretty much from day 1 her dad and i have gotten along very well a lot in common. fortionitly we both have the same sence of humor and both enjoy working on our houses. we have butt heads but thats because he is a very stubborn fool. he means well tho, he is a good man. and i love them like they are my own.

lori said:

Dear Chris.....

You are amazing!! You, are what I consider a real man!!! You just posted feelings from your heart...Your wife is by your side because you are a real man...a good man...you have a medical condition...would you bail on her if she was ill???? I doubt you would.

Ok ..now that I said my peace!!! I have a couple of questions...When was surgery?? I ask because I had mine done 8/08 and it took many mths for me to see/feel real progress...

In the 1st yr of recovery ...my NS told me....that I may experience symptoms I didn't even have before!! But...they would be temporary.....The way my NS explained went something like this..."Your CSF was not flowing correctly for your entire adult life....possibly ..your ENTIRE life....so it will take time for your brain and body to adjust to the new CSF flow...it takes time for the body to re-calibrate to the new flow."

When I thought of that it makes complete sense. Though...it did not make the symptoms that came and went any easier to handle.

I bet you are also MAD..as I was and still am....that once the incision is healed....we are pretty much on our own..that has been my experience anyway...NL's that I have seen in the past we flat out clueless and USELESS!!!! Primary doctors ..if you are lucky enough to have one that actually will take the time with you and are willing to learn about Chiari..can be of help in sending you to the right person...

As I mentioned ...08 I had my operation..still have some lingering sx's....vision being one of them..so I can feel for you in that area..my balancce is shaky to say the least...many falls this past yr..which sent me to a new doctor..

He is a PHYSIATRIST......sounds like a shrink at 1st glance !!LOL...But this type of doctor works with folks like us ...as well as stroke patients, pain management...motor vehicle accident patients that have deficits.....just a thought....maybe you may want to check this type of doctor out....

Hang in there and don't give up hope, ok?? We are here for you....you are not alone, Chris.

Peace,

Lori

hello tracy

how are u today? fine here just another day. thanks as i am sorry for you and every 1 that has 2 live with this. it blows my mind that we all have this but we all go thru different symptoms. it absolutely sucks and i hate it. carrie and i just thought i had some throat issues, we were both blown away when the NS said i have 2 have brain surgery. i of coarse thought after the surgery things were going 2 go back 2 normal, and i would have my life back. thats what piss's me off, and scares the hell out of me. if i could just get my eye back 2 normal i think i could live with every thing else.

i don't know about long term dis.. i have only been with this company for 2 yrs. i really hope it doesn't come 2 that, don't want to be on ltd nor do i want to find another job.

thank you, she is indeed a wonder full person and a awesome wife. she amazes me almost every day, the things she does for me and others almost every day, i don't know how she does it.

thanks

TracyZ said:

Hi Chris,

I am so sorry for what you are dealing with. My CM surgery was dropped into my lap or I would become a quadripledgic. I think I felt like all of the decisions that should have been made by me was taken away. My Life was taken away. I have talked to your wife many times and you are a very lucky man. She adores you. She will always be there for you. I know you are Mad as Hell and scared about your future. We have all been there. do you have Long Term Disability Insurance through your employer. You may not need it. I am an insurance person, so I think of your financial situation & ideas to help. I agree with Lori, it takes time to heal. It takes 18 months just for your bones to fuse back together & longer for the connective tissue. Please don't be so hard on yourself. Most dr's don't know everything we have learned by necessity. You can always come here and vent! Yell, Scream ! We will always be here for you. You are not alone. You have come to a special place where everyone understands & cares.

Praying for you and your wife,

Tracy Z.

hello victoria, how are u 2 day? fine here. How long have u had your symptoms? i don't know about CM making me stronger, but i do feel more compassionate and a whole lot more emoitional. angry 1 day, depressed the next. and the not knowing if i will ever be me again just scares the hell out of me. Carrie is amazing, i couldn't ask for a better wife. she is always doing what ever she can 2 make me keep thinking positive. i don't know were i would be with out her.

thanks

Victoria Shepard Hollingsworth said:

Chiari takes innocent people who are just living their lives and seems to suddenly change them forever. I'll never understand why my life was disrupted so suddenly as well, Chris. It does make you angry. It may be of little comfort to you now, but after a while, I found some (not all), of the anger did fade, and life has gotten better. It changes you, that's for sure. Your wife loves you, which is such a wonderful thing. For better or for worse, and in sickness and in health is what a marriage is all about. You are still so worthy of being loved. Even more so now, because having Chiari makes you a stronger and more compassionate person. It is overwhelming and unfair. Take each day moment by moment, and you will get through this. Let yourself heal. Both emotionally and physically. Your friend, Victoria.

HEY CHRIS,

I understand your feelings about Chiari. A year a go I had true world by the tail! and now my like you my day is is controlled by how bad/good I'm feeling.

Its sounds to me like you have a pretty great wife like I do, and that makes all the difference in the world.

I had my Decompression Oct 24, 2011, and though recovery was ROUGH! I did go back to work (I'm a meat cutter at a grocery store) which is a pretty physically demanding job. I also Pastor a church here in New Orleans. I am now working "full time" its a struggle each day but I'm making it.

Chiari does change our life but we can't let it take our life- we have a lots left to give!

I can understand your anger, for me it is more FEAR! The what ifs…the how will I? I am a homeschooling mommy to 7 children. The youngest just a baby. How do I care for them while in bed with migraines every few days? Is it safe to drive them around feeling unsteady? Do I wean my baby so I could have the surgery? I have had major back surgery already. It left me in a brace for 15 months, bedridden for 3, cautious for life. I am fused from neck to waist to correct ‘idiopathic scoliosis’. How could I be mom flat on my back and sick as a dog??
Even other issues…we are a very conservative family, allowing God alone to plan our family size…does CM mean no more babies? So many questions and decisions…
Not trying to ride on your question, just to share that I too am as lost as you. It sounds like you are blessed with a loving wife who is interested in supporting you 100%. You are a blessed man!! I have a wonderful ‘till death we part’ husband that hasn’t yet had his eyes totally opened to the seriousness of CM. Our first NS appointment is Mon.
Mommato7 (grandmomma to 2)

Chris,

I will tell you from a wife's point of view, that it is hard on us as well. My husband was diagnosed with Chiari back in may of 2011 and he has had 7 brain surgeries and he has been left with permanet brain damage. But I have NEVER once thought of leaving him.. Your wife loves you unconditionally!!! Be thankful that God gave you a good wife. It's so heartbreaking how CM effects you in such a short time. Thinking of you and I hope you start getting some relief :-)

Hi Chris,

I am really sick. I have had unbelieveable headaches for the past week & can't type that long.

I want to tell you why your wife is sticking with you..... Carrie is an Angel on this earth & loves you more than life itself. Even though I have never met her in person she has the most pure spirit. We get married for sickness and in health. You are in a way a very lucky man. You have Carrie !!!!!!! Forever !!!!!

Chris, your wife loves you very much and all of us care about you and your family. You're in our thoughts.