Hi everyone! I just wanted to give an update on how everything has been going since my decompression surgery which was on Dec. 20, 2011. I apologize as it might be a little long. LOL
Before surgery my quality of life had gotten very, very bad. I hadn't worked in over a year, I could barely get out of the house. I dreaded doing anything at all because of the pain. I slept alot and when I was awake I was taking my hubby to work everyday 40 min. away, I had soooo much STRESS that I look back now and am just amazed that I am still here. lt was my twin boys Isaiah and Noah that kept me going. I was living day to day trying to get through the pain and the loss of the "energetic Tara" who had now became fatigued, nauseated, headache and neck pain everyday, pain in my legs I could hardly walk, worried, stressed and cried myself to sleep every night. I hate CHANGE and boy had my life and body changed!!! I was mad! I hated it and would pray every night that I would wake up the next day and have energy, no pain, and laugh instead of cry. The love of my boys and not wanting to leave them without a mother is what got me through every bad day I had. I wanted to get better for them. To go out and have fun with my boys and for them to laugh instead of worry about mommy all the time became my goal , my motivation, my strength and something to hold on to! I had to get better for them!
Since my surgery I have had less pain, more energy and much more laughter! My quality of life has greatly improved! Granted, I am still on a steroid but have been weaning off of it. It's only 1 mg every other day now and I will be done with them on Jan. 25th. I know that they can give you energy and make u feel pretty good so I am really hoping that I continue to feel as good as I do right now. My boys and hubby can see a BIG difference in me! I am able to do light house cleaning, drive and run a errand or two without being so short of breath and fatigued and in pain. My legs feel so good, still a little shakiness sometimes when I am standing, but tons better pain wise. I seem to sit straighter and not have as much neck pain as before. I still get some neck pain and I am still taking my muscle relaxers but hey I am taking it day by day and I feel like week by week I get a little bit better. Not all of my sx's have went away but I am so happy and very Thankful to GOD that the fatigue and lack of energy is gone and I feel this is my new "normal" Tara and I love her very much! LOl
The first 2 weeks I won't lie, they were really, really rough. I cried myself to sleep alot of nights, but it wasn't due to pain everytime. I was still super stressed. We had just moved into a new home after being evicted, behind on the bills and hubby had to go back to work and noone in my family came to check on me or sit with me other than my Aunt Shelia who is my angel and I love her very much! She was here allmost everyday. Even if it was for only for a hour or so, it meant the world to me. My mom and sister and never came over and I was very upset and disappointed with them. They really let me down. None of my friends came to see me. It was a real eye opening experience for me as I had plenty of time to think about alot of things since I had just had surgery and couldn't do anything or go anywhere. I told myself that I was gonna have to do this on my own and I was going to have to muster up the strength once again and make some changes.
I no longer stress as much as I used to. I don't sweat the small stuff and if anyone starts to stress me out I just let them know that I am taking stress out of my life and would appreciate it if they could help me and if not I just avoid the people in my life who are my big stressors. I am doing it for my health. I have learned to just take deep breathes in through my nose and out through my mouth and just RELAX! I am really liking the "new and improved " Tara and I hope that with each week it just gets better and better.
I am so glad that I had the surgery done and that it went well. I smile more and move around now without any pain. I love the support that I have received from all of my friends on this website. You all are TRUELY my friends and it is so comforting and such a relief to know that I have you all. I love you bunches!
Told ya it was gonna be long, sorry. LOL
Love and Gentle hugs,